You have to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you have and remember what you had. Learn to forgive but never regret. Learn from your mistakes, but never regret! People change, things go wrong just remember life goes on!

Monday, April 12, 2010

babies, soccer games, play dates ..hello future!!

Today I felt something come alive within, today I felt like a jolt of energy was transferred , positive electrical circuits revitalizing my body and stimulating my mind.Today I felt good, I acted in a selfless manner, I placed other's need before my own without any hesitation. Something I do on a regular, but this time it felt different. I get to love these other humans infinitely and bountifully, without ever having to wonder if they will ever stop loving me back or want to shy away from my love. today I shopped for someone else rather than myself. We found out the sex of the twins today! my bff is having twins, this we knew but this whole time I said I felt she is having one boy and one girl. and today the doctor confirmed it... I think I haven't been this truly happy for a while. I finally get to invest into these little precious, bundles of joy and give them all of me, without wanting anything but there utter happiness!

I mean I know I always say I want children one day, little did I know I would get to practice first hand so soon. kids fit into my 5 year plan, you know first after I get the boyfriend / who shall turn into mu husband, we get the living quarters, something spacious, with a fence and a back yard with room for them to grow and play, not in new jersey. this I already made up, I'm moving out of jersey to buy a bigger place with the amount of money you can spend here! maybe somewhere Midwest or closer to the south somewhere for warm weather, I don't know! I need at least a split level, I hate ranch style homes, we will need an upstairs and downstairs! I will need, I mean we will need space, preferably land! I want at least 2 kids, with a dog, I prefer dogs over cat's. I want to have recital's to attend, and play dates to take them to soccer practice! they have to at least try to play at least 1 instrument, and take another language, going to have to ensure a strong foundation, and education and being well rounded and versed plays apart of adapting to any situation. I want to share recipes, and bake them cookies, and have to rush to make a cake for there class because they told me last minute. I want to take of sick day to stay home with them because there sick, of be there for their first snow storm, there first step, there first word, or there first fall to pick them up. I want those things. But no worries, all will be in the grand scheme of things, can't wait around for it, I need to make it happen and in due to. is there ever a good time to have kid's! no, but I think the perfect age for me to have kids will be between 32-35, that way it will be within my 5 year plan, and stable... And if gives me time to grow up and keep on maturing... you can't be a child raising a child, mentally not really referring to age, especially these days .

I can't wait for the day I get to have the family everyone wants', we do have to be perfect, but as long as we have each other and a infinite amount of love that all we will need! It gives me something to look forward to! Call me a dreamer if you want, but I believe in dreaming big, and always dreaming of the unthinkable and the impossible, because nothings impossible and remember every great thing started from a Dream!

still lost in translation yet that much closer to clarity! xoxo Ciao

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