babies, soccer games, play dates ..hello future!!

Today I felt something come alive within, today I felt like a jolt of energy was transferred , positive electrical circuits revitalizing my body and stimulating my mind.Today I felt good, I acted in a selfless manner, I placed other's need before my own without any hesitation. Something I do on a regular, but this time it felt different. I get to love these other humans infinitely and bountifully, without ever having to wonder if they will ever stop loving me back or want to shy away from my love. today I shopped for someone else rather than myself. We found out the sex of the twins today! my bff is having twins, this we knew but this whole time I said I felt she is having one boy and one girl. and today the doctor confirmed it... I think I haven't been this truly happy for a while. I finally get to invest into these little precious, bundles of joy and give them all of me, without wanting anything but there utter happiness!

I mean I know I always say I want children one day, little did I know I would get to practice first hand so soon. kids fit into my 5 year plan, you know first after I get the boyfriend / who shall turn into mu husband, we get the living quarters, something spacious, with a fence and a back yard with room for them to grow and play, not in new jersey. this I already made up, I'm moving out of jersey to buy a bigger place with the amount of money you can spend here! maybe somewhere Midwest or closer to the south somewhere for warm weather, I don't know! I need at least a split level, I hate ranch style homes, we will need an upstairs and downstairs! I will need, I mean we will need space, preferably land! I want at least 2 kids, with a dog, I prefer dogs over cat's. I want to have recital's to attend, and play dates to take them to soccer practice! they have to at least try to play at least 1 instrument, and take another language, going to have to ensure a strong foundation, and education and being well rounded and versed plays apart of adapting to any situation. I want to share recipes, and bake them cookies, and have to rush to make a cake for there class because they told me last minute. I want to take of sick day to stay home with them because there sick, of be there for their first snow storm, there first step, there first word, or there first fall to pick them up. I want those things. But no worries, all will be in the grand scheme of things, can't wait around for it, I need to make it happen and in due to. is there ever a good time to have kid's! no, but I think the perfect age for me to have kids will be between 32-35, that way it will be within my 5 year plan, and stable... And if gives me time to grow up and keep on maturing... you can't be a child raising a child, mentally not really referring to age, especially these days .

I can't wait for the day I get to have the family everyone wants', we do have to be perfect, but as long as we have each other and a infinite amount of love that all we will need! It gives me something to look forward to! Call me a dreamer if you want, but I believe in dreaming big, and always dreaming of the unthinkable and the impossible, because nothings impossible and remember every great thing started from a Dream!

still lost in translation yet that much closer to clarity! xoxo Ciao

You're not suppose to be....

This is another one I had to free from my mind onto paper, as I let if run freely and I've decided to share!

This is my art, this is my therapy, this is my life & these are my truths!!

You're suppose to be a mere figment of my imagination, yet a true vision of my future..

You're suppose to be untouchable and encased in a fortress sheltered from disappointment anguish and heartbreak, showcasing off happiness and eternal bliss for all to see...

You're suppose to be attached with XYZ and not within my realm which makes it harder not to touch the dream I sought after, wishing upon many of moons & many of stars..


You're suppose to be distant and afar, yet I can still smell your scent like your still next to me even when you're not around. how can something so far yet be so close.


You're suppose to be not appealing, cold, murky, an easy read which should make it easy for me to push you away
yet I find u charming, captivating, warm, & perplexed leaving me wanting 2 unravel more


You're suppose to be nonexistent in my wants and absent from my dreams
yet I rush to go to sleep to see you as I close my eyes and get lost in a fantasy..


You're suppose to be here providing strength and clarity and love ,yet I feel helpless and lost as I struggle to diminish theses feelings which have risen from within the depths which should not be present...


You are not suppose make me have a flutter of many feelings and make me truly love you or make me think what if....

I hope you guys enjoyed reading as much as I do writing! it's one of my many passion, and it's not always easy sharing your creative baby to the world. I love feedback so hit it up!

~~In a fantasy not sure if I ever want to wake up, still lost in translation! XOXO ~~

Remeber always dare to dream, and dream the impossible b.c it's possible!

Beautiful...

I think Vivian made the perfect song and defiantly had me in mind with this song and lyrics! I think she knows I needed to hear this song, and apply it to myself and others...I could say so much but the song says it all..tt makes you wonder about dynamics and the different types of relationships. There suppose to be so clear cut, and understood, yet theres so murky and unintelligible...it's almost like you need to hire an interpreter just to dissect whatever "it" is, meaning the dynamics and discourse of the  type of relatiosnhip you may or may not have..... (Insert light bulb) I just got another posting idea.... I think Adam Lambert said it best when he said " What do you want from me? " I luv that song too...If only I knew what the hell I am doing? The saga continues I guess..

"But I hope you soon find out how to love, once upon of time you wanted to learn, I thought I could teach you but you were more afraid then willing, so when it comes, don't push it away, one day you will find out it is the greatest gift, and I hope you don't take advantage of it..."

still lost in thought, lost, in sight, & still lost in translation! xoxo

The Sexual And Romantic Vulture

On the prowl day and night…..,
But even more in the pale moonlight……,
The Sexual And Romantic Vulture…..
It’s passion is on a roll…..,
So its dick is hard to control……,
The Sexual And Romantic Vulture…..,
Now beware of the evil moves…..,
Cause you’ll get more than the blues….,
From the Sexual And Romantic Vulture….,
Fire set ablaze in lust filled eyes,
To the perfect touch which makes ur heart aflutter,
From the Sexual And Romantic Vulture….,
What happens when the hunter becomes the hunted
Is it the thrill of the chase, or the thrill of getting caught...
From the Sexual And Romantic Vulture….,
What type of create have we brought upon us, as I say..
As you feed upon my flesh while savoring every taste
Wanting more, ravishing my anatomy as im in dire need of yours.
Playing with the beast and dancing with sin, while in total awe
From the Sexual And Romantic Vulture….,
As I taste your juices, and lick the blood which stains our mangled yet pleasure filled corpse

I hope this leaves you guessing & wanting more kiddies.... still lost in translations but remeber  ALWAYS ENJOY THE RIDE xoxo

Lost One Lost....

This came to me recently and i thought i would share instead of keeping it private..it's called.. Little one lost..

I'm Lost in a world, that scares me to death,

Lost in a crowd I’m losing my breath,

Lost as a kid, lost as an adult

I feel everything is falling apart and its my fault
Lost as a person, cant find my way

Lost in life every day, Lost in worry

Who am I?

I’ve lived a Lie
Lost to Kindness,
Lost to Love
Lost and loveless,
Lost in the sky,
Like a lonely dove
Lost in thought which I shouldn’t do
It Winds me up,
I can’t get through
Lost to comfort all kind words
Lost to advice that isn’t heard
Lost to those who really care?
All these people always there?
Lost in Me, I need a break
Lost in wonder which road should I take?
Lost in a place I don’t know well
Where are you now? There’s no one to tell
Lost here all alone To break these walls
Lost in mind
Lost in soul
Lost memories, there just a hole
Lost family, lost my place

Still yet I’m full of hate
Lost in boredom think I’ll leave
There’s a lot in life I need to achieve
 

**Lost in translation* until next time xoxo Ciao