Work, trade, lies, faires, and the bully bull... oh my

ok sorry for the delay but this week has been busy as ever  busier then usual, i swear! it's the end of 4th quarter and everyine wants everythign liek ASAP, gosh and working with a lot of these banks are strenious as hell, but bbay the pay off is worth it...

anyways.. so last fast forward.. i left work wednesday on luch just to get a pice of the penga... and baby it was well worth it...,damn it and who says hookup's don;t work, honey  i had a 2 week itch, and baby did i ever scratch it lol! ugh 2 long as weeks, im's tryign to quite cold turkey and stop messing around with the ex, u knwo the key damn word should be "EX" but it's hard... lol in more ways then one to just stop and go cold turkey... and he was good at what he does, and we were good together..well in the sex department...

Also, this week i came to the point where i know for a fact i want to have sex with a friends friend, but refuse to act on my lustfull thought's... i mean damn and it's not the first time i thought about it but recently it's been a constant thought, but i refuse to be that person, that horrible friend.... again lol! i mean the first time was so not planned, nor thought of but as u may or may not know me yet when my favorite guys jose, captain, and or wheatever's in my cup meet up, baby thing's happen. im human too sh*t, it was an accident, yes both times it happended lol shhhh... don't judge me and don;t give me that look mister lol !  but seriously, i don;t know if it's the weather or what, i really have been checking out this guy for the last few week's, ugh i will get over it, i have to, i have no other choice.  i mean i will not let y lustful loin ruina perfectly good freidnship...that's what other trade is for.... even though i was tryign to figure out the dynamics and complexity of their relationship to see where they stand, but i've given up all together....

i think i need to get over"CDJKG" and move on and find a current boyfriend. you know someone who is stable, sane, preferebly a non smoker, a free thinker, can support himself, mature, not married (leraned my lesson) and just someone who can be themselves and are ok with that... i can't try anymore closet freaks or self proclaimed "bi sexual" guys... ok i've been there but aftyer a whiole and ur only have sex with guys and not femals too, ur no longer bi-sexual, damn it ur mind is made up and ur offically gay, get use to it, and it's ok....

ohh also, can i tell you how the hell CJ fu*ked country last night upstairs in the spare room, at omar's house after the party. and baby the way it happened was too funny. as i was textign x while i was "pretend sleeping" b/c baby u know when u have gays around someone will be fucking asnd i could not dare miss it, even though i would have preferred being the one to score.. ok back to the story they were in the kitchen with all the lights were off b/c u knwo i turned them off, so i hear kissing.. so im like really right next to me, while im "sleeping"... then u seen darnell..oops country  motion towards upstairs and CJ little  lost need to score ass follows.. but wait the ultimate question is 1) i though country had a man... and 2) wasn't CJ just professing his semi love feelings for his new trade he works with to my bff.. see i can't. these two trollups need to get it together.. and neither one was drunk..shit i had more drinks then both of them... i hope it was worth it, and knowing him he won;t brign it up to me, that just a part of out relationship and doubt he tell's my bff, but no worries I will tell her for him...  some other thing's with a few other might have occured but umm... let's just keep that quiet...damn i love being sober and watching and hearing the festivities go down lol!  Counrty i thought Thristian moved fast, but honey.... enough said.. i don't judge... ( not aloud anyways) lol

As i quote Miss Amerie..'too many years i sit hear putitng up with u, now baby i feel like i heard so many of ur lies i don't know what's true, so i got to move on, you've been running that game for too long, think about all the time i wasted, my head is clear, im still surving cause ur not hear, but im not crying, i finally got my swag back, that broken heart don't suite me anymore, b/c i finally got my swag back"~ yesss Amerie... Swag back # 8 on her new CD lol  get into it

Back to the story sorry i had to feel it for a spell..

Also... as Myself and another source talk, i need to find out what happened or ever happened between CJ and *teven.. umm something smell's a little fishy... that whole situation and i'm not the only one who picked up on it.. umm hmmm b.c u know i'm there already trying to find the solution to A, B and C lol b4 u even finish reading the question...

Also, random thought to be a bottom, why have i been looking and staring at pplz asses lately, like serious  what is going on guys... i''m going to need this little infatuation to stop ASAP lol!...

so one of my friends might be pregger's,,,,,ahhh i can;t...really....

i think i need to take a min and pause, before i continue honey... i didn;t even touch a few other topic, but i will save that for another time luvies~~ lost in the utter mass known as other ppls bullshit CIAO xoxo