You have to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you have and remember what you had. Learn to forgive but never regret. Learn from your mistakes, but never regret! People change, things go wrong just remember life goes on!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Let's call this game ...Truth Be Told...

Let's call this game ...Truth Be Told... Ok so I was talking to someone recently and apparently according to them I always have time for other people and there issue's, but never can finalize and fix my own, let alone share "My Feelings" ok... so When did I Become Emotionally Damaged, I didn't; have a screwed up childhood, My Family loves Me, I wasn't abused, I don't have daddy issue's, ( well I do just not the pg 13 kind) lol and I never did smutty things growing up to get attention, lol ok, ok , ok don't laugh, let's move on, co signing Suzie! so Again! I ask myself "When did I become Emotionally Damaged and incapable of expressing my true Feelings?!"

So Hence this posting....this game is called Truth Be Told,unedited, unfiltered. no holding back truths, or Factoids about Me and all that is ME< a few of you may or may not know! If you like the game please Cont with your own Version, and remember be totally blunt and honest as possible! *Disclaimer* Don't have one..lol

My 20 top Truths.... plus 1 bonus lol *p.s. translation at bottom*

1) I have a huge Social Phobia especially when it comes to a large gathering of Breeder's*,the gayest of the gay's and or Children...Their way too Unpredictable, Attention craving and Emotionally unstable. I'm usually a nervous wreck amongst any type of crowd, but rarely will you see it! the doctors showed me how to cope!

2) Yes I love my GLBT* familia, however I really can't stand overly GAY people...I can't do Cunt* or too many lesbian ( n yes men can be lesbian too). there over the top and tend to bring way too much unnecessary drama and problems.. Ugh Man the *FCUK* UP missy

3) An Intelligent, well verbose, sexy, emotionally in touch, want to portray a heart, show's he care and has concern, can give you Masculinity but can serve face & attitude every now and again full bodied, secure dominant alpha male is the f*cking sexiest! And if they have what I call adequate "share holding's" and can use there hanging low investment wisely in the hip area babyyy! See, they are the type that usually tends to get me in trouble and caught up every time! ughhh ok I promise not to start flooding! *and note to self from the past make sure their not married, with kids or a kid on the way, and a job!* but it's been 1 month, 2 weeks and 2 day's

4) I'm currently sexually deprived, and crave sex, yet I want to see how far I can make it, Sex doesn't run my life, so i'm ok without it, and I refuse to go back down that dark path of random hook up's and countless hook up's. Def not for me, I now know my self worth, and know truly I deserve and want more for myself! I love myself, But...and yes there is a but...if sex or sexual things happen, who am I to stop it or say no lol! .

5) As much as I want to stay upset and linger on to the past, I miss what I use to have with my ex. I miss the comfort, I miss loving and being loved, I miss being held and holding him, I miss and use to look forward to his kisses and warm embraces, the many of night we just laid there talking and it didn't even have to be about sex, it was deeper then that. it was another connection we had, or many surprise "just because" dates and present or random outing's... But he screwed thing's up, you don't have the right to see how I am doing, you don't have the right to call me, you don't have the right to ask me how my day went babe, you last that, you lost us, you turned the one true person who loved you flaws and all away, not me but you! I don't hate him, I don't dislike him, I'm just broken, emotionally scared, and wish it didn't have to be. I will forgive him, but Not today! I'm all cried out, thank goodness for retail therapy and great friendship's, I could stop possibly seeing my shrink soon, why pay to talk when I have them,lol!

6) I like having Relations at the work place, or in public places where I can almost get caught, especially with my Superiors.. or co worker, or hey even my boyfriend (whenever I get one),,,,something about power or being sexual in public/ private = sexy to Me....

7) I had a revelation and think I'm learning how to un-love one of my best friends, however the downside is I'm nervous yet intrigued where or on who the emotions are shifting to!! Just like a spoiled brat, I always want the one's I can't have! but....messy...messy...and more messy......

8) I think I may have slight commitment issue's! Ok don't get me wrong i'm not a sleaze bag, or a cheater, I refuse to be a cheater, why even bother right, I think I might be a touch of an emotional cheater! I have trust issue's!

9)I really do deeply care something serious for one of my Friends...If only I knew what the hell they were thinking and what they wanted...UGH

10) I spend mass amounts of money on mostly sh*t I don't need but really do want...But I have learned how to...OMG Word Vomit...BUDGET and be sensible with my money...

11) Usually when I fall for someone I fall pretty hard, usually it takes a while but when I'm there, it's like OMG...ok real talk.. I might get even like a little OCD'ish at times lol! Don't say not 1 word lol! who hasn't driven by the current or ex house once or twice just to make sure lol!

12) Ok well since I'm putting all the cars on the table, back in my hay day, when I use to have my "Hoe'ish type of moments" yeah... I use to say it was because of the Alcohol, but yeah a few of those times the Alcohol was just my cover up, lol! Hey.. don't judge I know a few of you and your old stories. let's not get to start pointing fingers lol!

13) I over analyze everything...even something that appears so miniscule to others, I will take my time thinking about every other possibility! the good, the bad, and the not so fort.

14) I Absolutely HATE, and yes I know Hate is such a strong word but HATE: Orange People. And dark skinned ppl with unnatural blonde hair...OMG u look ridiculous and need a *GBF and or a mirror! p.s. and Men who wear thong sandals with socks.. Oh the Tragedy...and fanny packs, r u serious. and mini skirts with Ugh boots..damn r u hot or cold. IDK. something about that look screams future pole dancer... ugh why did I just vision miley Cyrus !

15) I have trust issue's and will be the first one to say I do! I'm too nice, and I had way too many not so nice ppl do way to many not so good things to me! So I have to stay guarded or come off a little bitchy or crass, but it's just my defense mechanism!

16) I'm usually the nicest guy you will ever get to know, unless you cross me the wrong way, use me, backstab me, or you give me a valid reason not to like you, then i'm your worst nightmare, and I go for broke!

I can give you a Verbal tongue lashing or a Written Notice in zero to 3.5 seconds like it's no one's business....Don't make me Read u, I get serious pleasure in make grown ppl cry, no joke!

17) I recently realized in the previous 2-3 relationships, it was so nice and perfect, I always thought it was too perfect! So I looked for thing's at times on purpose to be like "Hah there See I told you...or everyone's favorite line.." I knew it.."
18) I have an alter-ego which some of you unfortunately will never know or get to meet! Let's just say Alcohol usually play's a factor, and get's him in certain situations..lol nothings bad, just my alter he's a little extra friendly and stuff! he's the free spirited, fun loving, peace on earth extra friendly social drinker, who likes to stir the pot, and cause a little trouble. it's good being bad, even if your apart of it or not, it's fun! OMG lol Great times! Patron and 151 was flowing heavy that night, ahh memories:)....let's create new one's

19) I think the old crazy, insane, extremist with food issue's me is coming back into play. my co-workers pointed that out today! yes I eat less, yes I restrict myself, yes I went back to weighing thing's, yes I read labels, yes I try to see how long I have to go without food food! but I have to, the amount of pressure I put on myself to lose more weight, the pressure from this u have to be thin society, and it could be worst, I can always go back to being a secret binge eater and then vomiting up right after, but I refuse. that was messy, and costly to fix, and damaging mentally and physically! I don't want to harm myself!

20) I'm so prim and proper and so pg-13 in public, yet only if half of the ppl knew i'm so rated xx. but these day's who isn't! so I like it sensual at first, then speed it up and then for them to beat it down while out fuck session intensifies! so what I like dirty talk, and what's wrong with a little nibbling and biting and choking! who doesn't mind love wounds or scratches on naked flesh, ok so I don't really like the bed, and ok with carpet burns, cold floors, the staircase, or outside half way in the car late at night in the park by the track on the same side by the tennis court or in the bathroom in sear's in Woodbridge mall on the 3rd floor by lines, b/c there all handicap accessible and big as hell yesss, so what I'm always prepared with my to bags in my car equipped with condoms of all sorts, lubes, dice, handcuffs, underwear, a toothbrush, oils, a rag and things of such nature....shhhh what i'm a club scout, remember always be prepared is the motto! lol
21) I like animals better then some people, don't get me wrong i'm not insensitive but with animals you have a co-dependant relationship and they don't tend to hurt you the way humans do. So let's see a choice between a room full of puppies and kitties or a horse, or saving a small village in Cambodia or Africa, sorry Maddox you and your clan are on your own.....what are you mad I said it or are you upset I said the option u wanted to pick but was too damn guilty to chose!

~The Breeder's Translation Dictionary~

1)Breeder-Self Explanatory Heterosexual

2)GLBT- gay, lesbian, bi sexual, & trans gendered!

3) Cunt- Overtly gay- beyond flaming! u know two snaps, eye roll, serious switching, girl this.....kind of person. usually Male...and I can name 3 right about now...but you might be one of them lol!
4)GBF- Gay Best Friend

~i hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing & sharing...~~

Live*Laugh*Learn*Love*Grow~~~till next time luvies ~~~ still lost in translation...yes enjoying the journey!

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